Jos76’s Blog

Thoughts and musings on life in a gay marriage.

Studies have (not) shown…

Posted by jos76 on February 13, 2008


I have two siblings, a younger sister in her twenties and a brother in his mid-thirties. The three of us could not be leading lives that are more different, yet somehow we grew up in the same house with the same parents. My brother is married (to a woman of all things) and has five children. My sister is still finding her way in life and is pretty adept at dating. I usually get the update from my mother as to who we should ask her about. Then there’s me, the well-adjusted middle child, no longer dating, no children

Dac, my partner, has two brothers, both older, both married, both with two children. Well, as of the writing of this post one of the wives is pregnant, so they have about 1.3 children. Then there’s Dac, the youngest child of the three brothers, married, no children.

Given that we have somewhat different sibling situations and that I was in the middle and Dac was the youngest, I can’t help but laugh at claims that relationships with parents (male or female) in any way contribute to “making” a kid gay. I grew up with a male and a female sibling who both grew up to be straight. Dac’s brothers grew up to marry women and soon became parents.

Both sets of our parents are very supportive of our marriage and no one (especially our parents themselves) think that our upbringing had anything to do with our sexual orientation. How could it have? We would have to actually accept the possibility that our parents had specifically different relationships with each of their children, so different that it influenced their sexual orientations. For anyone who understands the demands and time commitment required to parent even one child, he/she would clearly understand how ridiculous it would be to even try to do it two or three different ways. Who would have time to make sure that their kid is gay?


6 Responses to “Studies have (not) shown…”

  1. A said

    Thanks for the encouragement on my post! I was skimming your blog and am happy to have another on my RSS feed now.

    Things with my parents have been great the last few months. I’m actually going home (~400 miles away) at the end of the month with…the boyfriend. I don’t know what to expect. My mom is really excited. We talk a few times a week and she brings it up a lot. I don’t know about my dad. I don’t know how comfortable/open to be with him. Especially with it comes to physical stuff. In any case, here’s to new blog friends 🙂

  2. Great point. Those claims that parental relationships contribute to “making” a child gay are laughable, except for the fact that some people actually believe them.

  3. thirdpartypirate said

    We are only products of our environment, to a limited extent…and we need to accept that some things are innate.

  4. silver18 said

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. My boyfriend is the middle child of an upper class family, and I am the oldest child of a middle class family. Our situations couldn’t have been more different. Parenting has a very slight if any impact. I know this, because my mother tried to make me straight. It didn’t work.

  5. Dusty said

    Good to see you blow apart the right’s skewed logic once again. Its laughable except for the fact that some folks actually believe their tripe.

    Thank you also for your thoughts over at our group blog, Sirens Chronicles. 😉

  6. Sophiefn said

    thanks much, guy

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