Jos76’s Blog

Thoughts and musings on life in a gay marriage.

Archive for April, 2008

If They Only Knew

Posted by jos76 on April 27, 2008

Dac and I spent the weekend away at a retreat.  There is group of people in our church (an open and affirming congregation of the United Church of Christ) who were looking for a way to get together to talk about their spirituality and to engage in fellowship.  I’m always a little hesitant with the word “fellowship.”  I guess it is because I always think of old ladies sitting around drinking tea or some kind of tent revival situation.  The only other time I hear this word is when we talk about the “fellowship hour” that follows our Sunday morning worship services.  And, I must say, there are lots of older ladies sitting around drinking tea.

But, I got a very different perspective on the idea this weekend.  We all formed a very interesting group.  It ended up being five couples and our minister.  We went to the Deering Center.  Written on the sign, as you approach it on the winding New Hampshire road, is “Christian Family Camping,  Conference and Retreat Center.”  For most gay people, it would be a scary concept to even consider pulling in.  However, Dac and I went in the fall with another group and we found that it is a very peaceful place and every person who works there (and volunteers there) embodies true Christian values. 

Among our group were three gay couples (two female and Dac and I), and two straight couples, both couples are parents and one even has several grandchildren.  We were all welcomed with open arms and had a great experience.  I had a short conversation with the owner before leaving and told him how much we love going there.  He said he was happy that we had such a great experience and told me that he wants to make sure that everyone feels welcome, regardless of where they are on their Christian Journey.

Dac and I are sad to hear how most people automatically assume that Christian=dislike of gay people.  We understand why this is since so many fundamentalist groups do in fact disagree with our relationship, but we strive to also let people know that there is a place in the Christian Church for everyone.  We have an Ichthus (the Christian fish symbol) on our car and I’m sure that when people see it they think, “they are gay haters.”  If they only knew!

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It’s all very 50’s

Posted by jos76 on April 19, 2008

A few weeks back, the headmaster at my school stopped me in the dining room and asked if I liked the symphony.  I quickly responded that Dac is a classical musician, so we enjoy the symphony a great deal.  He then proceeded to ask if Dac and I would be interested in joining him and his wife at Boston’s Symphony Hall.  I knew that this was something that I had to do, but I did say that I had to talk to Dac about the date and would get back to him.

I came home, checked the date with Dac, and we decided that we would go.  I told my Headmaster the next day and the plans were in place.  We made plans to meet up for dinner before going to Symphony Hall.  This past Thursday was the big night.  Before I left for school that morning, Dac said to me, “This is all very 50’s…Going out the symphony with the boss.”  I had to laugh because it was so true.  I mentioned this during dinner and we all had a good laugh.  It did have an “Ozzie and Harriet” feel, but this was the updated gay version.

During dinner, I made a comment about how Dac and I enjoy the time that we spent together and respect each others interest.  My Headmaster immediately commented to his wife that he was so happy to be out with a couple who was happy.  He and his wife have only been married about two years and apparently many of their other married acquaintances tell them that their happiness will not last.  I told them that Dac and I have been together for almost 8 years and we are not past the “happy phase”.  We actually don’t thing that it is a phase.

This was another opportunity to see how a married couple, who are older than us and hold influential positions in the community, freely and respectfully likened Dac and my relationship/marriage to theirs.

Jos76

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What’s the Dividend on a 1st Grader?

Posted by jos76 on April 12, 2008

I consider myself lucky because I like my job. I have been teaching for 11 years in both public and independent schools. Dac had a conversation with a friend recently about ideal jobs and job satisfaction. Dac is a musician by passion and “works” in a hospital. He definitely gets passionate about particular events, but if he had his way, he would be involved in music all the time.

Their conversation turned hypothetical and Dac and Jessy (an amazing musician as well) discussed what they would do if salary were no object and they could do whatever they wanted. Dac would be an instrument maker and Jessy would most like buy the instruments that he makes. Me, well, this is interesting. Dac told Jessy that if I had my choice, and salary was in no way important because I would be independently wealthy, I would still get up tomorrow and be a teacher. I have to agree with that.

Sometimes I think about other careers, like finance. Dac thinks I’m crazy because I enjoy checking stocks, calculating interest, and forecasting dividends. I love watching Mad Money and Suze Orman. What can I say, I’m fascinated by the stuff. I’m not ready to drop the lesson plans and become a day trader tomorrow, but it might be fun to try someday.

Suze Orman

Suze Orman

Stocks, bonds, mutual funds, EFTs, options, 403(b)s, limit orders, and market orders…what fun! My 1st graders are fun too, but the dividends are much different, maybe a few cool drawings and an occasional “you’re bald like my dad!” Priceless.

Jos76

Posted in Friends, Fun, The Past, What's Ahead | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Clang Clang Clang

Posted by jos76 on April 5, 2008

Remember Carey?  She’s the one who sang at Dac and my wedding back in January of 2006.  She recently performed in New York City.  Check it out:

Be sure to check her site out as well.

Jos76

Posted in Friends, Fun | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »