Jos76’s Blog

Thoughts and musings on life in a gay marriage.

Posts Tagged ‘brother’

Studies have (not) shown…

Posted by jos76 on February 13, 2008

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I have two siblings, a younger sister in her twenties and a brother in his mid-thirties. The three of us could not be leading lives that are more different, yet somehow we grew up in the same house with the same parents. My brother is married (to a woman of all things) and has five children. My sister is still finding her way in life and is pretty adept at dating. I usually get the update from my mother as to who we should ask her about. Then there’s me, the well-adjusted middle child, no longer dating, no children

Dac, my partner, has two brothers, both older, both married, both with two children. Well, as of the writing of this post one of the wives is pregnant, so they have about 1.3 children. Then there’s Dac, the youngest child of the three brothers, married, no children.

Given that we have somewhat different sibling situations and that I was in the middle and Dac was the youngest, I can’t help but laugh at claims that relationships with parents (male or female) in any way contribute to “making” a kid gay. I grew up with a male and a female sibling who both grew up to be straight. Dac’s brothers grew up to marry women and soon became parents.

Both sets of our parents are very supportive of our marriage and no one (especially our parents themselves) think that our upbringing had anything to do with our sexual orientation. How could it have? We would have to actually accept the possibility that our parents had specifically different relationships with each of their children, so different that it influenced their sexual orientations. For anyone who understands the demands and time commitment required to parent even one child, he/she would clearly understand how ridiculous it would be to even try to do it two or three different ways. Who would have time to make sure that their kid is gay?

Jos76

Posted in Family, The Past, What's Ahead | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

It’s (broke)Back-Breaking Work (Part 2)

Posted by jos76 on February 9, 2008

There are times when you just need to get away, to try something new, to experience something that is out of the ordinary.  Dac is a musician and I’m always amazed at how he can throw himself into a new musical instrument or style of playing.  For him, music is his way of getting away, trying something new, and experiencing something out of the ordinary.

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Dac plays viola, cello, and violin.  He is now trying out the guitar and the ukulele (you know, for a change).  His music is what makes him happy and it gives him something to look forward to.  I know that when he is on the train coming home from work he is day-dreaming about learning a new chord.

Dac’s father and his two brothers (Dac’s, not dad’s) take their yearly trip to North Dakota as their way of getting away, trying something new, and experiencing something different.  We all joke with them about their trip and being real “cowboys” (I was scolded for referring to them as farmhands in the earlier post), but I think that having an opportunity to retreat from your everyday life once in a while is necessary and commendable. 

For some people it might be getting caught up in a good book, for others it might be a sport, and for some people it might involve the inoculation of cattle in several feet of manure ….the point is, taking a retreat from time to time gives us an opportunity to rejuvenate our mind, spirit, and body.  My retreat is writing these posts and I am lucky enough to have people in my life that are interesting and give me something to write about.

Yippie Yi Yo Kayee…or whatever it is that cowboys say these days.

Jos76

Posted in Family, Friends, Fun | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

It’s (broke)Back-Breaking Work (Part 1)

Posted by jos76 on February 6, 2008

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If I had to describe the people in my our lives, I would have to say that they are completely diverse. There are the grandmothers, whose combined age is 166 years old (who were both at our wedding by the way), nieces and nephews (8 in total), colleagues (doctors, nurses, teachers, musicians, board directors), and friends (from church, life, and work). We have not chosen these people on purpose, or perhaps on some level we have, but we have confidence in our country and our world when we see that all of these different types of people are not concerned with our (gay) relationship, but rather respect it.

So, did you notice that I left out our immediate families on the list of those who support us? It is not because they don’t support us, it is because Dac and my relationship and marriage are such a non-issue for both of our families. It is not something that we discuss very often, but then again we don’t talk about all of our siblings’ marriages all that often either. Our families only contribute more to the diversity of supporters in our lives.

For example, each year, Dac’s father and his two brothers (Dac’s, not dad’s) go to a ranch in North Dakota where they work with the farmhands to inoculate the cattle and round up the livestock. (Don’t you like how I use the word “inoculate” as if it is a common word that I use all the time?)

It is real back-breaking work… from what I understand. I haven’t been and don’t really have any expectation of going. I have never even seen a “western” movie or Brokeback Mountain… and we can add these guys to our list of supporters.

There are more details involved in the North Dakota trips, but I’ll have to leave you in anticipation for now. If you are truly interested in what goes on there in the meantime, you can put on your cowboy boots and your hat, and watch the DVD with Dac’s dad and brothers, the city-slickers. There is something to be said for these guys having a gay couple in the family.

Jos76

Posted in Family, Friends, Fun | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »