Jos76’s Blog

Thoughts and musings on life in a gay marriage.

Posts Tagged ‘Family’

There are Liberals in Texas

Posted by jos76 on March 5, 2008

One of the reasons that I wanted to start this blog was to show people in other states (and perhaps even other countries around the world) that life in a legal gay marriage is nothing out of the ordinary. Sure we have to deal with politicians dismissing our relationship and contributions to our community and economy, but for the most part we lead lives that are not very different from our straight friends and family. It has been several years since gay couples were granted the right to legally marry in Massachusetts and you can ask anyone in this state..nothing has changed.

The great thing about the Internet is that you can easily reach people far away and close to home. If you read through some of the comments, you will see comments from a man in Saskatchewan, Canada (on the About page) and from a guy who lives in the same county where I live (Bandittalks). There are also comments from both my mom and Dac’s mom.

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One of the best and most surprising outcomes of these posts has been recognition from a blog in Texas called Texas Liberal. This blogger wrote about my blog so that other Liberals (and non-Liberals) in Texas could see how normal and respectful gay marriage can actually be. You can see his post HERE.

It’s great to connect with the world.

Jos76

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Posted in Faith, Family, Friends, Politics, What's Ahead | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

It’s (broke)Back-Breaking Work (Part 2)

Posted by jos76 on February 9, 2008

There are times when you just need to get away, to try something new, to experience something that is out of the ordinary.  Dac is a musician and I’m always amazed at how he can throw himself into a new musical instrument or style of playing.  For him, music is his way of getting away, trying something new, and experiencing something out of the ordinary.

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Dac plays viola, cello, and violin.  He is now trying out the guitar and the ukulele (you know, for a change).  His music is what makes him happy and it gives him something to look forward to.  I know that when he is on the train coming home from work he is day-dreaming about learning a new chord.

Dac’s father and his two brothers (Dac’s, not dad’s) take their yearly trip to North Dakota as their way of getting away, trying something new, and experiencing something different.  We all joke with them about their trip and being real “cowboys” (I was scolded for referring to them as farmhands in the earlier post), but I think that having an opportunity to retreat from your everyday life once in a while is necessary and commendable. 

For some people it might be getting caught up in a good book, for others it might be a sport, and for some people it might involve the inoculation of cattle in several feet of manure ….the point is, taking a retreat from time to time gives us an opportunity to rejuvenate our mind, spirit, and body.  My retreat is writing these posts and I am lucky enough to have people in my life that are interesting and give me something to write about.

Yippie Yi Yo Kayee…or whatever it is that cowboys say these days.

Jos76

Posted in Family, Friends, Fun | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

It’s (broke)Back-Breaking Work (Part 1)

Posted by jos76 on February 6, 2008

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If I had to describe the people in my our lives, I would have to say that they are completely diverse. There are the grandmothers, whose combined age is 166 years old (who were both at our wedding by the way), nieces and nephews (8 in total), colleagues (doctors, nurses, teachers, musicians, board directors), and friends (from church, life, and work). We have not chosen these people on purpose, or perhaps on some level we have, but we have confidence in our country and our world when we see that all of these different types of people are not concerned with our (gay) relationship, but rather respect it.

So, did you notice that I left out our immediate families on the list of those who support us? It is not because they don’t support us, it is because Dac and my relationship and marriage are such a non-issue for both of our families. It is not something that we discuss very often, but then again we don’t talk about all of our siblings’ marriages all that often either. Our families only contribute more to the diversity of supporters in our lives.

For example, each year, Dac’s father and his two brothers (Dac’s, not dad’s) go to a ranch in North Dakota where they work with the farmhands to inoculate the cattle and round up the livestock. (Don’t you like how I use the word “inoculate” as if it is a common word that I use all the time?)

It is real back-breaking work… from what I understand. I haven’t been and don’t really have any expectation of going. I have never even seen a “western” movie or Brokeback Mountain… and we can add these guys to our list of supporters.

There are more details involved in the North Dakota trips, but I’ll have to leave you in anticipation for now. If you are truly interested in what goes on there in the meantime, you can put on your cowboy boots and your hat, and watch the DVD with Dac’s dad and brothers, the city-slickers. There is something to be said for these guys having a gay couple in the family.

Jos76

Posted in Family, Friends, Fun | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

My three sons

Posted by jos76 on January 19, 2008

I truly believe that our healthy gay marriage/relationship/existence has a lot to do with our parents.  Once they clearly expressed their feelings of acceptance, others followed their lead, especially given their respected roles in the family.  I understand that not every gay person has this privilege.  However,  I can’t underestimate how important it has been for us to have parents who take their parenting responsibilities seriously and support Dac and me in our mutually-supportive relationship

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A great example of this came about one day a few years back when I went to meet Dac’s father at his office.  I went into the large engineering firm, went up to the receptionist in the lobby and asked her to call up and let Dac’s dad know that I was there.  She asked who she should say was here. I said, “his son-in-law.”  She called, got his assistant and let him know to pass on the message. 

My father-in-law told me when he came down that his young male assistant said to him, “Your son-in-law is downstairs.  I thought you had three sons.  I didn’t know you had a daughter.”  To which he replied without a second thought, “I don’t have a daughter, but I do have a son-in-law.” 

Another unsuspecting person unwittingly influenced by those who support us the most.  And if the boss says it’s okay, it’s okay.

Jos76

Posted in Family, Friends, The Past | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Jos76’s life in 350 words or less!

Posted by jos76 on January 14, 2008

I spent some time in a Mennonite boarding school in Pennsylvania when I was in high school. Suffice it to say that as the resident gay kid I learned to have a thick skin. I never personally felt that my faith and my sexuality were in opposition to each other, but I constantly heard how evil the “homosexual lifestyle” was.

I graduated from high school in 1994 and went on to a large state university where I tried to fit in, but quickly realized that I was way more religious than I had thought. I spent my sophomore year in France where no one wanted to listen to any kind of religious banter. I quickly realized that churches in France were just pretty museums that tourists appreciated more than French citizens did.

Once I graduated from college, I went to live on Cape Cod where I also taught for four years. I had a really rewarding experience with a group of colleagues that taught me that I could be openly gay (and even date at times). I took them up on it and eventually met my partner, through and online dating site.

I don’t think my colleagues saw it coming, but I moved off of Cape Cod to be with my new boyfriend. During our first date we had a quick conversation about whether or not we wanted to be together exclusively and we both agreed. We have been together ever since. We were together for five years when we decided to get married two years ago.

We both have very interesting families and friends that always keep us guessing. In these postings, you will be introduced to many of them and will come to see the experiences that we have as a young (can we still say that at 29 and 31 years old?) gay couple. Stay tuned.

Jos76

Posted in Faith, Family, Friends, Fun, The Past, What's Ahead | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »