Jos76’s Blog

Thoughts and musings on life in a gay marriage.

Posts Tagged ‘gay wedding’

Who’s Pat? Do I know her?

Posted by jos76 on January 23, 2008

A new sandwich shop recently opened up in my neighborhood. We moved into this neighborhood about three years ago and it is in a “rebuilding” phase. That is why we like to contribute to new businesses that open up occasionally. Some stand the test of time, while others have not. The Big Belly Deli looked promising, so we tried it out one Saturday afternoon.

While waiting for our Roman sandwiches, a man behind the counter (I’m guessing that he is the one after whom the place was named) asked Dac and me, “So, where are you guys watching the game tomorrow?” Dac and I looked at each other and Dac told him that we would not be watching the game. I was proud of him for being honest. I have to say that I usually go along with it in these situations and give the person an answer that he expects or wants to hear. In response to Dac’s answer, Mr. Big Belly said, “Oh, you have to work.” I said that “yes,” we had to work. I lied. Why do I feel that I have to do that.

newenglandpatriots2.jpg golden_girls-1p0f.png

The interesting thing is that for Mr. Big Belly, the only possible reason why two 30ish men would not watch “the game” is because they couldn’t because of something like work. And I played right into it and let him believe that this was in fact the case. I am a confident person and I am comfortable with who I am and the life that I lead. Yet, there are still situations in which I feel that I have to play the role that people expect. Honestly, sometimes it’s just easier. Dac is much better at giving an honest, “No, I don’t have to work. I just don’t like football.”

So, I’m working on it. If we let everyone think that there are only professional-sports-loving people in their world, then they will never know. I mean, for the most part we just blend in with the rest of the crowd, except for what we do behind closed doors. If we “choose” a lifestyle that finds us watching reruns of the Golden Girls instead of the Pats game, we should be able to do that. I think that next time, I will tell Mr. Big Belly the truth. I can hear his response now, “That’s fine if that is the lifestyle that you choose as long as you don’t try to force it on me. But hey, I understand…I had an uncle who wasn’t into the Pats, so I’m pretty comfortable with people like you.”

Look at that. I knew that Mr. Big Belly was talking about a football game and I was able to name a team off the top of my head. Dac, on the other hand, is still wondering who Pat is.


Posted in Friends, Fun | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Raise your right hand and repeat after me.

Posted by jos76 on January 16, 2008

If you read my previous post, you know that my partner, Dac, and I have the same last name.  It is always fun when people find out.  It seems like someone new finds out every day.  I began a new job last month, so I am still enjoying the shock on people’s faces until I get to the part of the story when I tell them that we are certainly not related.  Most people assume that one of us changed our name when we got married.  We always respond the same way to this inquiry, “We both came this way.”


We were a little concerned when we went to get our marriage license.  We live in Massachusetts so we went about getting the license in the traditional way at the city hall.  We wondered at first how they would treat a gay couple.  No one was alarmed.  Over 4,000 gay couples had been married in the state before us.  But still, a little shock and awe would have been appreciated.  I digress.

Once we were past the initial “we are two men and we want an application for a marriage license,” we were a little concerned with the clerk wondering if we were in fact related (though we could not look more different than one another).  We thought about bringing our birth certificates, but, get this, both of our mothers are named Denise.  So, essentially it would almost prove that we brothers (well, half-brothers because our fathers’ names were different).  We chanced it with nothing but a wish and a hope in tow.

The clerk looked a bit concerned so we made a joke.  She was not amused.  She pulled out a sheet of paper with a list of all of the people that you can’t marry in the state of Massachusetts (brother, sister, mother’s brother, father’s cousin, etc.).  She asked us both to raise our right hands and read it aloud and swear that we were not blood related.  We did.  We waited for the two days (the mandatory waiting period) and got the marriage license.   And then came the wedding preparations…stay tuned!


Posted in Family, Fun, The Past | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »