Once we figured out where and when our wedding was going to take place, we had to get to work on the details. We were very lucky to have many people help us with various aspects of the ceremony and the reception. We decided to use two ballrooms at a Marriott hotel about twenty minutes from our house.
One of the easier projects was deciding whom to invite. This was simple. We did not have to worry about all those extended family members that we met once when we were seven years old. We just invited all of our friends and family that have been supportive of our relationship. Dac and I are very fortunate to have the support that we have, so the list grew pretty quickly. We have both made it a priority to always work with and for people that respect us. Now, we live in Massachusetts where it is practically illegal to disrespect our legal marriage, but we have just the same been very lucky in finding employment situations in which we do not have to hide each other. Because of this, about half of the people that we invited were colleagues and our supervisors.
One day, just before the day when we had hoped to get all of the RSVPs back, Dac came home a little upset. When I inquired what the problem was, he told me that one of his co-workers told him that he would not be able to attend. This was a relatively new co-worker, but just the same one that Dac had come to know quite well and respected a great deal. When he asked him why he couldn’t make it, he replied, “I don’t believe in gay marriage.” This came as a total shock to Dac who did not see this coming. If either of us had the slightest idea that someone was not supportive, he/she was not invited.
Dac inquired further and found out that the guy was Catholic and his priest had told him that he should not attend the wedding because it was not in line with the Catholic conception of marriage. It seemed a bit odd that this person had befriended Dac and had even asked about me several times, only to withdraw his support at the last minute, based on the advice of his priest.
Needless to say, the friendship between Dac and his co-worker was never the same. However, there was no bad blood. This entire situation was just a reminder to us that no matter how much support we have, we must keep a thick skin because you never know how things might turn out.