Posted by jos76 on May 17, 2008
We had a lot of choices with our wedding ceremony. Dac and I chose everything from the color of the chair covers to the words of our minister. As a mentioned in a previous post, we were married by Dac’s sister-in-law’s father who is a (now retired) minister in the Unitarian Universalist Chruch. He also married Dac’s brother and sister-in-law. How many families can claim that the same minister married two of the siblings in one family, let alone one of the siblings having a gay wedding?
Prior to the ceremony, Rev. F sent us several versions of same-sex and heterosexual wedding ceremonies. We looked through all of them and pieced together the best parts of all of them into our ideal ceremony. The ceremony began with Pachelbel’s Canon (played on piano and cello by friends of Dac’s from high school) as Dac and I came down the isle on the arms of our mothers. Dac went first, he’s younger. Then Dac’s mom’s best friend, CC, and another friend of ours sang Ubi Caritas to set the mood for the ceremony.
One important part of the ceremony was the very end, when the minister pronounced us married. It was so great to actually hear him say: “By the power invested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you married.” This was a very traditional ending to a not-so-traditional ceremony, but it was very powerful to be able to make this claim in front of our family and friends.
Posted in Faith, Family, Friends, Politics, The Past | Tagged: ceremony, chair covers, Gay, gay marriage, gay wedding, lgbt, Massachusetts, minister, Pachebel's Canon, Ubi Caritas, Unitarian Universalist | 1 Comment »
Posted by jos76 on March 8, 2008
Meeting someone for the first time is sometimes difficult. Sometimes it’s easy. Back in November of 2000, after many emails and phone conversations that went on for hours (sometimes all night and had to end so we could go to work), Dac and I decided to meet for the first time. We had been talking for about two weeks and essentially knew everything there was to know about each other. We were not close by. Dac lived in Boston and I lived about one and a half hours away. Just the same, we talked a lot and agreed that we would meet up for the first time. The plan was for me to go into the city. I liked to do that, given that I lived on Cape Cod and it was November…the off-season.
We agreed to meet outside of a “T” (subway) station on Mass Ave (that’s local talk for Massachusetts Avenue). We had seen pictures of each other so we sort of know who we were looking for, but just to be safe we pulled out our gay genes (and jeans) and said, “I’ll be wearing a….” I drove into Boston, found a parking spot (I still don’t understand how!) and went to the Hynes Convention Center “T” station. Dac was there.
We had dinner at a small Greek restaurant nearby and then went back to Dac’s apartment to watch a movie. It was Moonstruck.
It was and is our favorite movie and we had quoted the entire movie to each other on the phone. When we got to the end of the movie, we both realized that we were experiencing something out-of-the-ordinary. “Will I ever find another guy who likes this movie so much, wants to be in a relationship, and is normal?” We had a brief conversation about whether or not we wanted to “be in a relationship with each other,” decided that we did, and have been together for over seven years since.
Dac will point out that I left out the part about the picture that I sent him. It was from my freshman year in college (I was 18) and we met when I was 24. I looked a little different (I had more hair in college). Honestly, it was the only picture I had.
Posted in Fun, The Past | Tagged: anniversary, Boston, cape cod, Cher, couple, date, Gay, lgbt, marriage, Massachusetts, Moonstruck, relationship, Wedding | 2 Comments »
Posted by jos76 on March 5, 2008
One of the reasons that I wanted to start this blog was to show people in other states (and perhaps even other countries around the world) that life in a legal gay marriage is nothing out of the ordinary. Sure we have to deal with politicians dismissing our relationship and contributions to our community and economy, but for the most part we lead lives that are not very different from our straight friends and family. It has been several years since gay couples were granted the right to legally marry in Massachusetts and you can ask anyone in this state..nothing has changed.
The great thing about the Internet is that you can easily reach people far away and close to home. If you read through some of the comments, you will see comments from a man in Saskatchewan, Canada (on the About page) and from a guy who lives in the same county where I live (Bandittalks). There are also comments from both my mom and Dac’s mom.
One of the best and most surprising outcomes of these posts has been recognition from a blog in Texas called Texas Liberal. This blogger wrote about my blog so that other Liberals (and non-Liberals) in Texas could see how normal and respectful gay marriage can actually be. You can see his post HERE.
It’s great to connect with the world.
Posted in Faith, Family, Friends, Politics, What's Ahead | Tagged: Bandittalks, Family, freinds, Gay, gay marriage, gay wedding, lgbt, Massachusetts, relationship, Saskatchewan, Texas Liberal | 5 Comments »
Posted by jos76 on February 27, 2008
I have had a good friend for about three years who is a Republican. We worked together for two years and she is really the only person from my old job with whom I have stayed in regular contact since I began my new job about six months ago. We get along really well and we both have very similar senses of humor. This has been great. I love having a friend that totally gets my sense of humor.
It’s an election year and Massachusetts held it’s primaries on Super Tuesday along many other states. Dac and I both voted Democrat. We actually believe in many of the Republican fundamentals (like limited government, low taxes, and individual responsibility), but our relationship and certainly our marriage is not supported or respected by the Republican party. We vote Democrat because on a social level, we want to eventually have access to the over 1,000 rights that are granted only to straight married couples. The Republicans would never go for this.
Back to my friend and former co-worker. We had dinner the other night and, as usual, we had a great time. We laughed, we joked, we talked about everything from financial advisers to job interviews. At the very end of the evening, as I was driving her home, I asked, “So who did you vote for?” She told me Romney. I’m never quite sure what to do with this sort of information. She is clearly supportive of me personally, but she votes for candidates that are completely opposed to allowing me and Dac access to the tax dollars that we pay to the government (in the form of marriage credits and Social Security). When I think about it, I guess that there are people who vote for Republicans for their own personal reasons, but may differ on social issues. I can only hope that she would in fact vote to legalize gay marriage if given the opportunity, even is she votes Republican in Presidential elections.
When I tell my gay friends and colleagues that I have Republican friends, they are shocked. I wonder if Republicans get the same reaction when they tell their fellow-Republicans that they have gay friends.
Posted in Friends, Politics | Tagged: blog, democrat, friendship, Gay, gay blog, gay marriage, gay wedding, lgbt, marriage, Massachusetts, relationship, republican | 13 Comments »