Jos76’s Blog

Thoughts and musings on life in a gay marriage.

Who’s Pat? Do I know her?

Posted by jos76 on January 23, 2008

A new sandwich shop recently opened up in my neighborhood. We moved into this neighborhood about three years ago and it is in a “rebuilding” phase. That is why we like to contribute to new businesses that open up occasionally. Some stand the test of time, while others have not. The Big Belly Deli looked promising, so we tried it out one Saturday afternoon.

While waiting for our Roman sandwiches, a man behind the counter (I’m guessing that he is the one after whom the place was named) asked Dac and me, “So, where are you guys watching the game tomorrow?” Dac and I looked at each other and Dac told him that we would not be watching the game. I was proud of him for being honest. I have to say that I usually go along with it in these situations and give the person an answer that he expects or wants to hear. In response to Dac’s answer, Mr. Big Belly said, “Oh, you have to work.” I said that “yes,” we had to work. I lied. Why do I feel that I have to do that.

newenglandpatriots2.jpg golden_girls-1p0f.png

The interesting thing is that for Mr. Big Belly, the only possible reason why two 30ish men would not watch “the game” is because they couldn’t because of something like work. And I played right into it and let him believe that this was in fact the case. I am a confident person and I am comfortable with who I am and the life that I lead. Yet, there are still situations in which I feel that I have to play the role that people expect. Honestly, sometimes it’s just easier. Dac is much better at giving an honest, “No, I don’t have to work. I just don’t like football.”

So, I’m working on it. If we let everyone think that there are only professional-sports-loving people in their world, then they will never know. I mean, for the most part we just blend in with the rest of the crowd, except for what we do behind closed doors. If we “choose” a lifestyle that finds us watching reruns of the Golden Girls instead of the Pats game, we should be able to do that. I think that next time, I will tell Mr. Big Belly the truth. I can hear his response now, “That’s fine if that is the lifestyle that you choose as long as you don’t try to force it on me. But hey, I understand…I had an uncle who wasn’t into the Pats, so I’m pretty comfortable with people like you.”

Look at that. I knew that Mr. Big Belly was talking about a football game and I was able to name a team off the top of my head. Dac, on the other hand, is still wondering who Pat is.


4 Responses to “Who’s Pat? Do I know her?”

  1. Interesting story…three or four years ago I would have done the same thing. Now I have a boyfriend that LOVES football so I’ve learnt through osmosis. Of course we watched the Pats game. Funny, I never thought I would be into sports but I’ve found it to be a great way to unite with others, even straight people.

    Good post!


  2. jos76 said

    Thanks Rick.

    I have to admit that will will most likely be involved in some sort of Superbowl gathering with family. I personally got caught up in the Red Sox this past year, especially with the world series and all. I am a teacher so I get most of my info from the kids at school.


  3. 40something said

    Nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t like football. There are plenty of people, both gay and straight, who don’t appreciate sports like some of us do. As a person who does not exactly agree with the “gay lifestyle,” I have a wide range of interests that I share with many in the gay community, but you just can’t paint us football-loving straights with the same broad brush. I assure you if I found out you weren’t interested in football, I wouldn’t look down on you…nor would I jump to any conclusions about your sexuality.

  4. Riley said

    Wait… So who is pat? Naw just kidding. I really like your blog, I just found it this morning. Would you like to chat sometime? My emails

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: